CHAPTER TWO: ISRAEL - THE JEWISH PEOPLE
Throughout this book another image is invoked, one of
alternate pathways of life arrayed before a couple embarking together
on the journey of interfaith or intra-faith marriage. The vision conjured
up in the mind of choosing between paths is reminiscent of the poet
Robert Frost’s metaphor of roads that diverge in the woods. The poem
succeeds in capturing the sense that life inevitably brings each of
us to forks in the road presenting paths of no return. The paths divide
and separate, going off in different directions. The inescapable reality
is that two paths cannot be traveled simultaneously - a central thesis
of this presentation. But contrary to the celebrated poet’s view, the
several roads are not more or less equivalent, alike, one not very much
different than the other.
The path providing the itinerary of the people Israel - the Jewish
people – has always been and continues to be dissimilar in decisive,
distinct and discernable ways to the Christian and Islamic paths and
the paths of other religions. History has played a critical role setting
the Jewish sojourn apart from others. Returning to Frost’s metaphor,
Judaism is also the road less traveled, considering the relative diminutive
size of the world’s Jewish population.
Furthermore, while Judaism, the religion of Israel, may be compared
to other religions, Christianity and Islam for example, being
a Jew, a member of the people, is not necessarily indicative of a religious
disposition or a faith designation. A person may identify jewishly without
self-defining religiously, that is, without endorsing, or belonging
to, a Jewish movement, denomination or synagogue; may say “Jew” of themselves
but may hasten to add, “although not religious”; may have no difficulty
separating Jew and Judaism – while other Jews might question drawing
them apart. Unlike followers of Christianity or Islam, the religion
Judaism is not the sole condition of Jewish Identity. For Jews, Identity
precedes Ideology. Most other western religions require a particular
set of beliefs and adherence to specified essential core doctrines to
belong to that religious community.
A people (Jews) holding, professing, or embracing a religion,
Judaism, is not nearly the same as a religion that determines,
creates, or forms a nation or a community of believers. For Jews the
folk precedes the faith. Jews do not see themselves united by articles
of faith, shared beliefs, and sanctioned doctrines. That is, Jews are
united not so much by theology – especially ideas about God - as by
community, commitments and commonly held memories of their experiences
spanning some thousands of years of history. There is more than a subtle
distinction between ideology, defined for our purposes as the shared
mind-set of beliefs, and the self-referential, self-understanding of
their sense of belonging Jews mean by identity. Clearly ideology and
identity are inextricably intertwined. But for Jews, ideology flows
from identity; their essence ascertainable by and derived from their
existence. This distinction will be drawn again and again in various
contexts throughout this essay. Its importance cannot be exaggerated
or overstated.
We are not here suggesting that the Jewish community – or, for that matter,
Judaism - is lacking in ideology. Every society lives with its own ideology.
Umberto Eco, makes plain that societies cannot survive without ideology
which, taken “in its widest meaning,” refers to “a body of ideas” offering
us “lines of action and certain visions of the world.”[1] Jews entitle
their “body of ideas” Torah/Judaism and their “lines of action” mitzvot/commandments.
The “body of ideas” affirming in various ways that for
Jews the folk Israel and its welfare, its determination to survive abiding
by its “lines of action” and to flourish creatively, is its faith,
that is, the ever evolving convictions, theologies and persuasions that
Jews hold most dearly. We have already pointed out that for Jews, Existence
comes about in advance of Essence. By contrast, for Christianity and
Islam the faith precedes and determines the folk. We will return to
this important distinction further along.
When in this book reference is made to the Jewish people as Israel
(Yisrael), I do not want you to think I mean the State of Israel.
Israel refers to the folk, those who share a people’s history whether
born into it or joining it in various ways. Israelites are all
the descendants of Jacob, the biblical patriarch. Jews, referring
to the descendants of the biblical tribe of Judah, is synonym for an
Israelite. An Israeli, a more recent term dating to the
creation of the modern state, is anyone, Jewish, Christian, Muslim
or other, who is a citizen of the country. The Hebrew word Yisrael,
a name conferred upon Jacob in Scripture means "wrestles with God".
"God wrestling" is another way of saying "contending"
with the ultimate issues of life or "taking on" the transcending
fundamentals.
By wrestling with the fundamentals, the “ultimates of life,” Jews
through the centuries have conceived, brought into being and developed
the Jewish religion. “God wrestling” means that Jews - the people Israel
- are taught not to profess faith or to submit to fate (as Islam requires
and Christianity esteems), but to take it on: Wrestling with fate and
with the world around them, pondering the meaning of life, grappling
with the reality of death, trying to master the existence of evil, partnering
with God in creation – whatever that may mean - and working with our
fellow human beings to repair the world (called tikkun olam).
When the rabbis of Talmudic times, or later authorities, rescinded a
biblical law for the sake of urgent societal needs, the God wrestling
process was conducted with acute awareness. So much so that the discussions
on justifying significant departures from established “received” requirements
originating in the bible/Torah were invariably carefully recorded, published
and widely disseminated.
When we use the word religion in this volume, it can be seen that
we mean the various ways groups of people - who follow a particular
"path" - deal with the Issues of the Ultimate. These are
the important, fundamental issues which matter most to human beings:
the purpose of life and its certain ending, the existence and characterization
of a deity, what constitutes human fulfillment, how to pursue tikkun
olam (also defined as mending the wounds of humankind), and how to treat
one another. Questions of power and powerlessness, love and hate, good
and evil and our relationships with other religions and other people
and peoples are all, therefore, religious issues. Many other definitions
of religion have been offered in other places and contexts that are
valuable and insightful but here we are not reducing religion to interactions
with superior Being(s) and service to that Being. We mean religion
in the broadest sense of a way of life that addresses the things we
know are most meaningful.
More recently the term “spirituality”, which does not appear in Scripture
or Rabbinic writings, has come to refer to the internal struggles in
the quest for finding meaning in our lives and religion or religiosity
has come to refer to the external display and outward expressions of
inwardness, such as synagogue and church attendance and other observable
practices. We will be thinking of religion and spirituality, both the
internal and external dimensions, as aspects of the same phenomenon,
flip-sides of the same coin.
We are conditioned to admire faith because of its positive values
in this, a Christian, country. And granted that men and women of faith
– Isaac Newton, Gregor Mendel, Nikolaus Copernicus – held to their faith
despite disbelieving and rejecting prevailing scientific theories and
ecclesiastically sanctioned principles and yet contributed enormously
to the advancement of scientific knowledge. Nevertheless, doubts not
faith, wrestling not submission, skepticism not acquiescence, have provided
humankind the best education – and have provoked progress. That is
why Judaism proposes the priority of the human experience to any doctrine,
dogma, theory or article of faith. From of old, the Jewish way of life
was meant to be accessible, do-able, this-worldly – not “fixed in the
heavens” (lo bashamayim) and unreachable.
So the concepts and reasoning informing the guidelines presented
in this book (assuredly a 21st Century American Jewish presentation),
although certainly different in many respects from previously established
traditional Jewish positions, are nevertheless enduringly joined and
securely attached to the framework of Judaism. Keeping the image of
the Mansion in mind, we might also wish to take note of the fact that
everyone professing Jewish identity today has emerged through an over
three thousand year portal swung open into the promising passageway
of the Jewish world of the 21st century. Nevertheless, we
concede that in a certain sense we are here exploring a newly framed,
redesigned, 21st century wing of the Jewish Mansion. The
real danger to the future of Jews and Judaism, we realize, is in being
close-minded to the consequences of changing times and conditions and
indifferent to the new and emergent.
There is a great deal of inner turmoil taking place within this
Mansion. Always has been. Therefore this century is certain to be no
different in this regard from previous centuries of intellectual wrestling
matches conducted so often in the cerebral workout rooms of the Mansion.
These profoundly inventive metaphysical struggles have brought about
some great progress in the world of thought, produced widely acclaimed
ideas and insights and have fostered many advances in civilization,
despite the atrocity-ridden century just buried.
Some would say that this taking on of fate rather than submitting
to it has shaped the character of the Jewish people from the beginning.
In one of the first extraordinary stories in the Bible, Abraham debates
with God over the concept of "absolute justice" and its application,
which will govern the fate of the two infamous cities, Sodom and Gomorra.
Jewish heroes and authorities – prophets, priests, rabbis, intellectuals,
scholars and teachers - seeking justice from that time forward always
appear to be in dialogue and in disputation with God, the Keeper of
Covenants (meaning "agreements", "contracts", "pacts"
or "testaments."). So contemporary Jews who see themselves
as the current custodians of this tradition, the 21st Century’s
recipients of this ideology, also feel compelled to Wrestle-with-the-Ultimates.
Wrestling, for Jews, refers to a core conviction that maintains that
we humans are not here to walk the earth desiring “to live in some Disneyland
of the mind,” to appropriate a phrase from Christopher Hitchens, “…We
make progress by conflict.” Hitchens, proclaiming himself an “anti-theist”
voices a profoundly Jewish admiration for “rebellious or independent
types” who enter into conflict and engage in “individual struggles against
the collective instinct for a quiet life” by combining a “skeptical
mentality” with the “armor of principle.” [2]
In this context, therefore, when Jews speak of religion they mean
addressing, confronting, and contending with the Ultimate Issues as
we have defined them. It is important to be reminded again that Jews
see themselves as a folk or people first (Jews) with a religion (Judaism
- or Judaisms, as we will discuss later) second. In contrast,
Christianity is a religion; Christians are not a single people. Neither
do they see themselves that way. Rather Christians define themselves
as believers in a particular set of doctrines and in no way as members
of a single folk group. This is also true of Islam and Muslims, not
all of whom are Arabs, of course. Jews, as can be seen in the list
of opposing concepts and contrasting values that we provide next (and,
in considerably more detail also in the chapter on Judaism, Christianity,
Islam: Contrasts) are far more a folk than a faith, more a belonging
and behaving community than a believing community. The people, Israel,
constitutes a community conditioned by a cultural heritage, one that
sees itself following and maintaining an ageless tradition rather than
a community based on, or unified by, beliefs.
In terms of priorities, the following tabulated list of
values may be useful. They are not opposites in eternal conflict at
all. Rather they serve as points of departure for each faith community.
These priorities – where they converge and where they diverge - will
be examined in greater depth in the chapter devoted to the subject below.
Judaism/Jews vs. Christianity/Christians
. Folk vs. Faith
. Belonging & Behaving vs. Believing
. Identity vs. Ideology
. History vs.
Theology
. Deeds
vs. Creeds
. Torah (Wisdom) vs. Tenets (Required Thinking)
. Survival vs. Salvation
|
Judaism emphasizes the values on the left while Christianity emphasizes
the values on the right. Many of the values on the right are also important
to Jews, of course, just as many values on the left are important to
Christians. Yet, for Jews, the values on the left take precedence.
For Christianity, this is usually reversed. This list of dichotomies
evolved from discussions with priests, rabbis, ministers, and philosophers
and will be explored further on. Of course, this contrasting inventory
of priorities and polarities overlap and converge as comparisons often
do.
It is also useful to keep in mind that: For Jews Christianity
is unimportant but Christians are very important. For Christians Jews
are unimportant but Judaism is very important. (Explanation: Christianity
as a religion is unimportant to Jews because Judaism is self-sufficient
with no living antecedents. Christianity derives from and is unthinkable
without Judaism. Demographically, Christians, by virtue of numerical
strength alone are much too great for Jews to ignore. Not vice versa!)
I have found this register to be a well-grounded guide
particularly helpful as a starting position in the exploration of marital
and child raising options. These contrasting values also help us focus
on - and understand - essential differences between Judaism and Christianity.
The list therefore can be particularly useful when circumstances require
that one must select the religious identity of a household in which
to build a family. We will deal with these values in greater depth in
Chapter 9.
It makes sense here to fine-tune certain other terms and definitions
employed in this text still further. For our purposes, Polydox Judaism
refers to the several non-Orthodox denominations and approaches to Jewish
life, namely Reform Judaism, Conservative Judaism, Reconstructionist
Judaism and the Jewish secular movements and institutions. The word
comes from "poly" meaning many and "dox" meaning
doctrine. Polydox implies that non-Orthodox interpretations of Judaism
also possess validity and Jewish authenticity. Judaism is not hierarchical;
one size does not fit all.
Unquestionably a rich variety of Judaisms finds expression and loyal
advocates today as in the past. This realization has prompted many Jews
to characterize Jewish life and its broad range of options as a rainbow
of Judaisms. The range reaches from the super-Orthodox - some of whom
wear Eastern European small town, predominantly Polish village styles
of dress - to the Classical Reform, from the radical secularists to
the committed Polydox Jews of the congregations I have served over the
years. Some Jewish congregations characterize themselves as non-theistic.
They mean that a Jew is welcome and would be comfortable in the congregation
whether or not he or she affirms the existence of a supernatural Being
referred to as God.
All Jewish movements would agree that a Jew will likely
affirm certain essential convictions and will repudiate others as can
be seen in the table above and in the pages below. It is also being
suggested here that there are no mandatory beliefs, save one: Jews,
no more and no less than other peoples, are entitled to their existence,
to their space on this planet. They are not obligated to justify their
place in the sun or defend the air they breathe. Other than this "existential"
conviction, there are no required "doctrines" of Judaism,
apart from not holding the beliefs or following the observances of other
faith communities, the adoption of which constitutes a defection causing
one to forfeit Jewish identity.
Put differently, an affirmation of the doctrines of other religions
would render that person a Christian, a Muslim or whatever and no longer
a Jew. Similarly in Christianity, the denial of Jesus' divinity or unique
nature would forfeit Christian identity. The rejection of Allah (God)
and Mohammed (His Prophet) would do the same for Muslim identity. We
will return to this subject in chapter 9.
Just as a person's inalienable rights include life itself, so is
it with a people. As parents we transmit a like-message to our children
regardless of the religious tradition we select. We say to our child
that, “at the instant of your birth, when you experienced the light
of life, the moment you emerged from your mother's womb, you became
entitled to your space, oxygen to inhale, water to drink and food to
eat. You need not earn or plead for the right to live. It is your
right by virtue of your very existence.”
Similarly, Jews say, by virtue of our existence, because we are
here like everyone else, we have a right to be here. They remember
vividly that in Europe only a little over a half century ago this self-evident
prerogative was challenged and overturned for more than a ghastly decade,
bringing about the destruction of European Jewry. Existence itself,
therefore, is the first conviction and the most essential commandment
of all. By definition, if that conviction is lacking there can be no
carrying on. All other convictions or “-doxes” become irrelevant if
the people is not around to affirm them.
We are making the point that existence is the most essential
and most obvious mitzvah or requirement of a people – so obvious it
is often overlooked or ignored. This commandment applies as well to
the individual. The first commandment in the bible after the Garden
of Eden story is not belief in God as many Christians guess when I quiz
them. And it is not “love your neighbor as yourself,” or the ethics
with which we are to relate to others such as the Golden Rule, as many
Jews conjecture.
It is rather the command of biology – the call to being,
the essence of existence – “be fruitful and multiply” which is the first
charge to humanity. The mitzvah that precedes all others is: Couples
Copulate! Bring children into being! If there is no biology, no yin
fitting into yang and no nesting for the purpose of bringing young into
the world, other commandments will not be observed including worshipping
God and performing acts of decency toward other human beings. So, biology
comes first, far ahead of doctrines, theories or ideas. In this matter,
Jews from Orthodoxy to Reform, to Jewishly committed radical secularists,
agree.
There is no such thing in Judaism as omnidoxy. Rev. David
Williams agrees noting that it seemed to him that “the Unitarians have
a lock on that - trying to be all things to all people.” Omnidoxy would
proclaim as Jewish everything and anything some Jews profess. Polydoxy
as opposed to omnidoxy would suggest that if not necessarily equally
convincing to everyone, all Jewish movements, the complete rainbow of
hues and views – among them, Reform, Reconstrutionist, Conservative,
Orthodox, Hassidic, Secular, Humanistic Judaism - are without exception,
valid and authentic inasmuch as there are Jewishly committed individuals
who belong to them.
Even so, all of these movements agree that Judaism and Jewish identity
cannot be compromised by a hyphen signifying simultaneous affiliation
with another faith community. Messianic Judaism, for example, would
not be regarded as Jewish by any of the Jewish movements any more than
Messianic Islam or Christians-for-Mohammed would be considered authentic
by their respective religious communities.
The point being made is that there are in America today other types
of religious classifications that are interesting and perhaps even important
but they are not of the categories we call Judaism. Jews for Jesus,
Jewish Christians, Hebrew Christians, Messianic Jews, Muslim Jews for
Christ, Christian Jews for Mohammed are all absurd omnidoxy-oxymoronic
examples. To Jews, they are self-contradictory -doxes and -isms, antithetical
and incongruous at the core of their convictions. They belong on the
same roster as – take your pick – Secular Humanists for Zeus, celibates
for promiscuity, Bosoxers for the Yankees, NBA centers for Diminutiveness,
and Free-Thinkers, Religious Skeptics and Polytheistic Presbyterians
for the Pope. A person may choose to call herself or himself anything
at all, but words and important terms have meaning; calling oneself
a tree does not make one a tree!
Orthodox Jews will see the child of a mixed marriage as Jewish if
the mother is a born Jew, regardless of whether she converted to Christianity
and regardless of whether the child subsequently becomes a believing,
churchgoing, practicing Christian (or a priest or a nun). This is in
accord with the Orthodox law that is often characterized as "once
a Jew, always a Jew". Orthodox and most Conservative authorities
who affirm traditional matrilineal descent as the only way (save for
conversion) to affirm Jewish identity - regardless of upbringing, self-declaration,
beliefs, or religious affiliation - formulate their position along these
lines: "Nothing known to Halacha (Jewish Law) can ever strip a
person of their Jewishness, just as nothing can make a person Jewish
who halachically is not".
Reform and other Polydox Jews dissent. (The “P” is capitalized to
signify institutions, denominations, movements, in contrast to lower
case “p” – meaning a multiplicity of convictions - as will be expanded
upon and clarified further along.) They would prefer that this Orthodox
view be referred to as "Orthodox Halacha" but not "THE
Halacha" that is, not “THE Law," or the only valid
precepts. They would insist upon considering the entire range of Jewish
authoritative decisions, as well as the reasoning behind their “legal”
justifications. We are, therefore, not to disregard or pre-judge as
inauthentic the more flexible and elastic non-Orthodox Jewish law or
Halacha.
There are many volumes of sophisticated and profound decisions of
Jewish law published by the greatly respected law committees of the
Reform and Conservative movements and of other Polydox Jewish authorities.
We should bear in mind that 90% of American Jews are not Orthodox. The
rabbis they turn to are polydox rabbis.
The understanding of Polydox Judaism is that Jewish behavioral rules,
Halacha, require regular updated revisions for the sake of Jewish continuity
and Judaism’s ongoing, vibrant relevance as dictated by the times, by
new conditions in which the Jewish community lives, and by new information
and knowledge. Particularly prominent among the new conditions and realities
is that the post-Holocaust Jewish world, abruptly, critically and tragically
diminished in the middle of the past century, requires a less restrictive
and more inclusive definition of Jewish identity.
Many thoughtful contemporary Jews express forthrightly that Jewish ranks
could be replenished with certain thoughtful Settled Sojourners, that
is non-Jews, who are capable and willing to go from the majority to
the minority for the sake of a loved one or for philosophical and other
intellectual reasons.
In line with these convictions, the Central Conference of American
Rabbis, the rabbinical association of the largest Jewish movement outside
the State of Israel, the Reform movement, passed a new halachic ruling
called Patrilineality (or Equalineality) which recognizes the Jewish
identity of a child born of a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother
if the child is raised as a Jew. The consequence of this rabbinic ruling
equating Patrilineality with Matrilineality can be viewed as the equalization
of the requirements for Jewish descent and identity.
In reality Patrilineality is not so much a new Jewish law as it is a
revival of an older biblical practice. Nevertheless, Patrilineality
may be understood as a new halachic ruling because it had been set aside
for centuries. Conditions change just as pathways turn and return. Judaism
too adjusts and readjusts with the times for the sake of its vital continuity.
Again and again it can be shown that Israel the people precedes Judaism
the religion: the folk precedes the faith.
While many Jews see themselves as Jewish apart from religion (as
in, “I am proudly Jewish but not religious or observant,”) others express
the view that the Jew and Judaism are inseparable. This view is articulated
by Rachel who says, “As a Reform Jew, I feel that being Jewish and a
part of a historical community are primarily tied to religious ceremonies
and rituals like the Seder or High Holy Day celebrations. I feel that
the Jewish people and religion are inextricably joined. They have become
nearly one and the same.” Her Settled Sojourner husband David, an ordained
Christian minister and father of Jewish children, adds that “Jews have
discreet cultural identity. But to me it is not meaningful without
the expressions of ultimate relations found in Judaism¼.”
David took note of the similarities between infant baptism and brit
milah (covenant/circumcision). “Both serve to bring the child into community,
the one community based on history and shared experience, the other,
a community of faith. Without faith there is no Christian community.
Without history and continuity, no Jewish people.” Faith and history
are contrasting points emphasized by the two religions, as the table
we have provided shows. The first, faith, is the Christian point of
stress. The second, history, is the Jewish point of emphasis.
In Judaism a prominent teaching
holds that every generation of Jews stood at Sinai bonding together
in Torah Covenant. Jews also maintain that those that cling to us,
like the “mixed multitude,” many of whom loved us and elected to come
along, who felt and feel themselves a part of us, also stood at our
side at Sinai. And it is historically as well as metaphorically true
that today the Settled Sojourners’ children’s DNA can also be traced
to those who assembled at the foot of the mountain.
Jews say further that the bible story
of the departure from Egypt, commemorating the birth of the Jewish people
on the festival of Passover, chronicles the prominent place of the many
Settled Sojourners who mobilized for the Exodus trek and bonded with
the Exodus community. They and their offspring, despite and perhaps
because of the many rough spots along the way, became Israel.
For the early rabbis, even though they recognized that God granted
“wisdom” to all peoples and nations through their own religions, the
Torah (Judaism) in its totality was intended for Israel alone. Most
Jews, therefore, feel obligated to follow however many commandments
of the Torah/Judaism. On the other hand, non-Jews are expected only
to follow the Seven Precepts of the Sons of Noah which all of civilized
humanity is obliged to follow. These are 1) not worshipping idols,
2) not committing murder, 3) not committing adultery and incest, 4)
not tearing a limb or a part from a living animal to eat, 5) not blaspheming,
6) not stealing, and 7) having an adequate system of law and justice.
Someone not Jewish, usually partnered to a Jew, who goes beyond
these seven general precepts and embraces and supports Judaism more
fully, earns a different sort of status. The Jewish community looks
upon these individuals differently. They are part of us. They become
Settled Sojourners who "throw in their lot" with Israel, its
people’s history and destiny. As has been pointed out, the tradition
teaches that they too stood at Sinai and participated in the Exodus
when many of the "Mixed Multitude" joined the people Israel,
then referred to as the Hebrews.
Today an increasing number of progressive synagogues, with sincere
gratitude and esteem, recognize the non-Jewish spouse, one who has become
a Settled Sojourner living in a Jewish home and in many cases raising
Jewish children, as a full member of the congregation. Their intention
is to avoid the exclusion of the very individuals they wish to embrace.
Exclusion from membership is, in the words of Elizabeth Marincola, “awkward
at best and alienating at worst, to both partners, non-Jewish and Jewish.”
Children, raised as Jews by non-Jewish parents denied full synagogue
rights and privileges, invariably regret, rightfully resent and perceive
a hurt inflicted upon their fathers and mothers. After all, their Jewish
character has been molded by the idealism of justice and fair play.
Planning and preparing for his upcoming bar mitzvah service and giving
thought to the level of participation on the part of non-Jewish family
members, one youngster provided a typical and illustrative case study:
“I know I’m lucky and feel fortunate to be Jewish. I’m proud of the
fact and feel myself a Jew in every way. I was raised by both my parents
to feel that way. My mother and her parents, sisters and uncles and
aunts, by no fault of their own were not born Jews and felt no need
to convert. But they have helped me and encouraged me and my sisters
to practice our Jewish religion. And they have stood behind us in every
way. In fact my mother and grandmother have observed Judaism and Jewish
holidays more than many of my Jewish friends who have an all-Jewish
family. My own non-Jewish family members are more Jewish in what they
do and how they live than some of my all-Jewish friends in my Junior
High classes and in the sports teams I play for in the city’s basketball
and baseball leagues.”
Therefore, synagogue membership is justified and appropriate for non-Jews:
parents and partners of Jews living in Jewish households. In many progressive
polydox congregations Settled Sojourners are offered active not merely
honorary or affiliated membership, meaning that they have earned the
right to vote at synagogue meetings as may any other member in good
standing and they may serve in any capacity or office they feel comfortable
holding. They may also participate in a worship service although they
would undoubtedly not wish to be called to recite Torah blessings in
that these blessings refer self-referentially to Jewish identity. But
they often choose to stand beside Jewish family members called upon
to pronounce the Torah benedictions commemorating their sons and daughter’s
rites of passage.
The ways in which the Settled Sojourner is embraced by synagogues and
Jewish community organizations – and by rabbis called upon to officiate
at rites of passage in the Jewish tradition – may deter or advance the
mission of strengthening the Jewish people. In the long run welcoming
is to be preferred by far to alienating interfaith couples and their
children as has happened too often in times past.
Teaching the values of Torah Judaism to our children, in the words
of an intermarried Jewish partner, “does not square with barring non-Jews
from synagogue membership and participation. Especially denying a blameless
and innocent person whose parents by the fortunes of luck, destiny and
statistics were not of Jewish descent the privilege of standing beside
the child he or she helped bring up as a well-rounded, proud Jewish
child violates the essence of what Judaism teaches about treating the
stranger as the home born.
“If a stranger is to be treated that way, with sensitivity and kindness,
how much more so the non-Jewish parent bringing up Jewish children.
That parent is hardly a stranger. And for the sake of their Jewish children
the non-Jewish parent who goes to such lengths and expense bringing
up a child as a Jew – very different from their own upbringing and childhood
culture – should, if not embraced as a hero, at least be accorded acceptance
and dignity and a place alongside his or her own children. Besides,
children should not be compelled to participate in such a discriminatory
exercise. They are too young and powerless to express their deeply felt
distress. They may suffer with it the rest of their lives. I will not
support a congregation that fails to honor the non-Jewish partner helping
me in raising Jewish kids.”
ON THE MATHEMATICS OF
INTERFAITH MARRIAGES
In bringing the discussions of this chapter to a close, it may be
useful to digress into a brief sociological observation concerning the
Jewish mathematics of survival and continuity with the following illustration:
Two committed Jewish families were friends through their children. The
son of one family is now engaged to marry the daughter of the other
family. They will be establishing a committed Jewish home. The young
man’s sister plans on marrying her boy friend who is not Jewish. Although
there will be no conversion, at least in the near term, the young man
says that they intend to establish a Jewishly observant home. His words
are, “I’ll get with the program.”
The remaining brother is also betrothed
to a non-Jewish young woman. They too will be “going the Jewish route.”
There will be three Jewish homes established by these two Jewish families
not the two had each married the other’s sibling. Had the two siblings
who married Jews married non-Jews instead of each other in an intra-marriage
and had each carried on their Jewish heritages and transmitted Jewish
identity to their children, there would have been four Jewish households
brought into being.
In other words: two Jews marrying
each other potentially create one Jewish home; but two committed Jews
each marrying non-Jews potentially create two Jewish homes. No one
advocates or wishes to promote intermarriage. Statistics show that continuity
is often threatened and divorce in interfaith marriages has gone through
the roof of the mansion. But demographic realities and possibilities
ought not be overlooked or scorned.
A half century after the destruction of European Jewry and the depopulation
of the Jewish people by one-third, issues of demographic statistics
and numbers representing critical mass, play vital roles in Jewish continuity
and renewal. Continuity inarguably depends on Jewish commitment and
resolve. In an intermarriage, it also depends upon a partner who willingly
takes on the responsibilities devolving upon a supportive, participating,
non-Jew “who can hack it” as a ger toshav, a Settled Sojourner,
joining forces in the profound teamwork required for such an undertaking
as raising Jewish children and as companions on the less traveled highway.
In the words of Elizabeth Marincola,
“Intermarriage, therefore, may perpetuate Judaism rather
than dilute it. When a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman and a
Jewish woman marries a non-Jewish man, potentially two Jewish homes/families
are created. Had the same Jewish man and woman married each other only
one Jewish household will have been created.
“Moreover every non-Jew who becomes
the partner (spouse) of a Jew brings along his/her own non-Jewish family
(parents, siblings, etc.). They will not become Jews themselves but
they are likely to learn more about Judaism, participate in Jewish ceremonies
and rituals, and become more sympathetic to Judaism and Jewish concerns
once they have Jewish relatives - grandchildren, for example. It is
critical for a small minority to build a community of ‘sympathizers,’
- Jews once removed.’’
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Jewish,
Christian, Chewish, or Eschewish: